It’s Just Not FAIR!!!

Did you ever get a spanking?  Better known as A WHOOPIN’ if you grew up in the south.  Another familiar term was A SWITCHIN’.  Did you ever hear your Grandmother say, “And if you don’t get me a good SWITCH I’ll come pick one out myself.” (?)  Wow, shopping for a good tool to get beat with…the ultimate, why don’t you think about what you’ve done moment.  I remember thinking this is just not FAIR at those times.

Well, that saying it’s just not FAIR never did anything for me and here is one story of when it didn’t:

One day in sixth grade a kid in my homeroom class popped me in the back of the neck with a paper football (you know, the little paper folded triangle).  The pain kind of hacked me off, but not nearly as much as the pain I was going to endure for the rest of the day.  I rared back and just about the time the paper football left my hand my homeroom teacher Mrs. Wilbanks glanced my way, as she came up my isle and the paper football hit her square in the right cheek.  You think I was mad when I got hit….whew!  You would have thought I had slapped and spit on her.  Smoke was coming out of her ears, the blood vessels in her eyes were throbbing and her nostrils were flared like a spurred bull.  Her mouth drew in and she said, “Mister, you get out in that hall right this minute while I get my PADDLE.”  Dude, I was so frustrated.  I didn’t mean to hit her, but she didn’t know or care.  It just wasn’t FAIR.

OK.  For those of you that don’t know, my Mom was a fifth grade teacher and guess what?  Her classroom in the elementary school was less than fifty feet from my sixth grade classroom in the middle school, a terrible setup in my opinion.  Mrs Wilbanks marched me through the breeze way and into the elementary hallway and knocked on my Mom’s door.  We interrupted my Mom’s class….oh my gosh, never a good thing….now my Mom was ill as a hornet.  They took turns whacking my fanny.  I remember thinking to myself, “it’s just not FAIR!!!”

Well, I wish the story ended here, but it doesn’t.  When I got home my Mom told my Dad about what had happened.  The deal was, if I ever got A WHOOPIN’ at school…I would get one at home.  Now, please say it with me, “It’s just not FAIR!!!”  Believe me it wasn’t FAIR.  My dad is not a huge guy, but I tell you what he was God gifted when swinging a belt or paddle.  Three paddlings in one day…it was my record and it still stands. 

An interesting thing to note, I never hit a teacher with anything ever again and I always was very aware of where the teacher was in the class room from then on.  Sometimes the lack of FAIRness has a way of making a point and changing behavior.  Boy…I’ll say.


6 Responses

  1. Oh yes. The switch….it was called “the hickory” at our house. I never, ever got a “whoopin” at school, but often did at home. The “hickory or the belt” were the choice tools of the trade at my house. Thing is….now, that my parents are older and grandparents, they would NEVER dream of me laying a hand on THIER grandchildren! Talk about not fair!

  2. Tammy W: Shoot….yeah HICKORY…it hurts when you say it. You’re right if I raise my voice at the boys I get these “Oh, he’s out of control looks” from the very people who adjusted my disposition. You’re right it’s just not FAIR!

  3. “….adjusted my disposition.” I love it. Dude, do I have your permission to use that one?

  4. i like it, you get one at school, one at home. that’s funny now, not funny then, eh? there’s a couple times back in my childhood years i still remember the “belt.”
    what times 🙂

  5. I never got a hickory or switch, i always and i repeat I always got the belt. no matter what happened in our house with a big sister and a little sister they were always on each others side so when ever somthing happend it was my fault. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR.

  6. Kurt: use away. That’s what it was.
    Flaviu: yeah…it’s funny now, not at all then.
    Robert W: I was an only child. If something happened, I did it.

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